ボクの手の中の楽園 Review

Here COMES ANOTHER FREAKING REVIEW WHEEEEE

Im sure you guys have seen Zen’s review on the eroge….. Well at least i have =D

in anycay case I wouldn’t really say i was satisfied with this particular one… And i must say im not very particular about anything.

Soo let ‘s see the reason why shall we.

The company that made ボクの手の中の楽園 is caramel box. Im sure most of you out there is probably more acquainted with one of their earlier work, 処女はお姉さまに恋してる (Otome wa Boku ni Koishiteru)…

Now for a company that has at least some sort of history, I didn’t expect something a lot better. But heck I still finished it. Even though it was pretty crappy.

Story

The story starts with you as Yuu (yeah wtf lol) lying on the beach. Yuu has a large ass 2h sword behind his back but he can’t move for some reason. Then he realises something stupid. He doesn’t have any memories except for knowing who he is and the language. After lying there thinking about his death, 3 girls with swords walked by and found him. They were from the 薔薇騎士団 (or rose knights from my shitty translation). He got saved, fed and healed (no not magic). Then he got questioned, got his sword confiscated and left out in the open. After being found by one of the girl knights outside resting near the forest, she took him in and some how he started working under the rose knights.

(ahhh sunsets… The best stuff on earth.)

Now I would go as far as to say that the plot for this game is probably the weakest point  about this game. It’s IMO full of loopholes and most of the routes give you perfectly nonsensical and unsatisfying endings which lead me to believe that they just stopped production halfway. That’s how bad it was to me. Only one route (thea’s route) was the actual story that contained all the necessary points and lead to a somewhat satisfying (but short) ending. All the others were just about their past and stuff which didn’t move the main plot on.

After that part is done let us move on to the characters.

Characters

Yuu: Give me my lolis back!

ユウ (Yuu) (NO YOU =D)

The main memory loss main character. He’s ridiculously typical to the point where I don’t even need to describe him and you probably know how he is. Kind. Dumb at times. Hiding some secret. Bleh. I almost died looking at him. Too typical IMO.

テア・ボールシャイト (Thea Bohlscheid)

Tsundere character. Playing her route would mean you’ve played the whole shared storyline. In any case she’s cute. No really. She does everything the normal tsundere does, turning red and ignoring the main character…  blah blah blah. She’s pretty simple deep down though. Her swordsmanship (or swordswomanship) is top class. She’s also the chief of the Rose knights.

エリノア・ベッシュ (Ellinor Besch)

I would say she’s the princess character in this game. She didn’t think much of Yuu from the start but started acting differently afterwards. Sorta a tsundere but not quite the typical kind and her tsun scenes were not much. Her sword skills are also level l33t. I had a huge problem with the length of her route though (same with the two charas below) that the development of the story felt like lightning speed and that the plot sounded very much like they wrote it out of frustration.

Yuu: Me see’s pie *licks*

クリスティアーネ・デューリング (Christiane Duhring)

Your cute sickly like (she is in some ways) and clumsy girl. She’s quite the bookworm and has quite an extensive knowledge about the history of the island they’re in and also about lots of randomy stuff. Her swords skills are mediocre. She’s just one step below thea in terms of rank. I suicided at her route (me has unlimited life cheat).

ルーツィエ・クーリー (Lusie Coulee)

She acts like a guy (and failing pretty badly) to prevent bothersome stuff that usually happen to girls travelling alone. She’s a magician (duh). She’s sorta tsundere (how many do we need). She hates bothersome stuff and usually wants to be left alone. Quite the bookworm too.

System system system

This title screen was actually pretty well made. If only they spent as much time doing the title screen as the rest of the story… sigh…

Looks typical enough, I think it’s a bit too… typical but oh well.

The choices however were very straight forward (and there were very very little choices). It’s as straightforward as what you see here. No rly.

The music is nothing special at all. There was only one track that caught my attention. Which is really bad since i usually record most of the sounds in my brain. This time i could only remember one. >.>

Cgs were reused a lot. They didn’t even TRY to make it less obvious. I couldn’t laugh when the kiss scenes were all the same type of face shots. sigh.

H scenes were just… There. Nothing special at all. Now when one wonders why the story is so short in an eroge you’ll naturally think that it’s because they spent more time on the cg or moar h scenes. Not true for this one.  There was even less scenes for this than flyable heart. The H scenes themselves were mediocre at best.

Last Word

So to sum it up.

Don’t play this unless you ran out of stuff. Really. There are a lot of better stuff that came out recently. Unless you got a fetish with sword girls I wouldn’t recommend this. It wasn’t so crappy that it will make me stop halfway, but it wasn’t anything new or special or amazingly interesting.

SCREENSHOTTYYYY